My Funny Valentine

For many centuries and around the world, Saint Valentine's Day has celebrated friendship, affection, and love.  Traditional expressions of these feelings have included heart-shaped cards, beautiful blooming flowers, boxed candy... and mushy poetry.  Fear not, Poetry Paraders!  Today, we're going to dodge Cupid's arrows and take a look at some fun, funny, and just plain silly poems that celebrate the holiday.  Our first two selections, from School Fever by our March 29th Author's Day guest Brod Bagert, use fun rhymes, funny twists, and silly turns:

The Wings of Friendship

The new kid at school is a sight to be seen,

It's hard not to stare, 'cause her skin is all green.

She has two bulging eyes that are totally red,

And a blue one that sees from the back of her head.

On the first day at recess, and this is no lie,

In the middle of soccer she started to fly.

When I asked how she did it, she couldn't explain,

But she said it had something to do with her brain.

She says it's exciting to live here on Earth,

But sometimes she misses the place of her birth.

At night, through her window, she stares at the stars,

And longs for the laughter of friends back on Mars.

"We could be friends," I said, patting her hand,

And that was the moment our friendship began.

We make a strange pair when you see us go by,

But I like her a lot, and I'm learning to fly!

What I Do for Love

I'm a little shy to say it,

But from the very start,

The moment I first looked at her

My teacher stole my heart.

Her eyes are bright as stars,

Her smile is like a dream,

But every time she looks at me

She frowns and starts to scream.

"Brandon, stop that talking!

Brandon, please be good!

Brandon, child, your head's so hard,

It must be made of wood!"

If you wonder why I misbehave

The answer's plain to see.

When I make my teacher angry,

Her attention's all on me.

There's no way I could tell her

She's the girls I'm dreaming of,

So instead I drive her crazy.

Yes, it's what I do for love.

Today's final poem uses word play (and one of the major food groups!) to express that Valentine feeling:

Tutti Frutti Lovesong

You are my darling CUMQUAT,

Oh, you're my PEACHy pie,

I think you are the BERRIES,

The APPLE of my eye.

Don't make me MELON-choly,

Please be my HONEY DEW,

'Cause oh, my sweet PAPAYA,

I'm BANANAS over you!

I would be oh, so GRAPEful

If you'd just say you care,

For it takes two to MANGO,

And we're a PEACHy PEAR.

Oh, ORANGE you a little

COCONUTS for me too?

Please say you'll be mon CHERRY,

I'm so GUAVA over you.

--Mary Grace Dembeck

Before we grab a handful of candy conversation hearts and frolic through the halls, we have one final thought to share:  

You may say we're PLUM crazy,

but we're RAISIN our voices to say,

"We wish you a heart full of poetry

and a Happy Valentine's Day!"