Lafayette School Poetry on Parade: The Mayhem Poets: Mason Granger

This morning a dinosaur tromped into school,

ferocious, atrocious, and dripping with drool.

He had to be practically twenty feet tall,

and banged around looking something to maul.

He stomped and he snorted, he bellowed and roared.

His head hit the ceiling and busted a board.

That beast was undoubtedly ready for lunch.

He snatched up a chair in his teeth with a crunch,

Then stopped for a moment and thoughtfully chewed;

it seems he had smelled cafeteria food.

He spit out the splinters and plowed down the hall,

his tail swinging wildly and smashing the wall.

He burst through the doors of the lunchroom to see

the lunch ladies clutching their hair nets to flee.

He found the lasagna and gobbled it up,

then lapped up the lemonade, cup after cup.

He ransacked the salad bar, plundered dessert,

then stiffened and yelped as if suddenly hurt.

He let out a howl as he clutched at his side,

then gave out a gasp and fell over and died.

So next time a dinosaur comes to your school,

I think you’d do well to remember this rule:

Get out of the way of his bad attitude

and make sure he eats cafeteria food.

— Kenn Nesbitt

Vacation

In my head I hear a humming:
Summer, summer summer's coming.
Soon we're going on vacation
But there is a complication:
Day by day the problem's growing-
We don't know yet where we're going!

Mother likes the country best;
That's so she can read and rest.
Dad thinks resting is a bore;
He's for fishing at the shore.
Sailing is my brother's pick;
Sailing makes my sister sick;
She says swimming's much more cool,
Swimming in a swimming pool.
As for me, why, I don't care,
I'd be happy anywhere!

In my head I hear a humming:
Summer, summer, summer's coming.
Soon we're going on vacation
But we have a complication:
Day by day the problem's growing-
Where oh where will we be going?

Mary Ann Hoberman

The way to eat your lunch meat
is to roll it into tubes.
The way to eat your Jell-O
is to jiggle all the cubes.
The way to eat your Swiss cheese
is to nibble it like mice.
The way to eat your water
is to chew the chunks of ice.
The way to eat your doughnut
is to try to save the hole.
The way to eat your ice cream
is to overfill the bowl.
The way to eat your pudding
is to suck it through a straw.
The way to eat your peanuts
is to store them in your jaw.
The way to eat your apple
is to munch it like a hog.
The way to eat your spinach
is to feed it to your dog.
The way to eat your noodles
is in one unending slurp.
The way to end your meal
is with a record-breaking BURP.

-- John Frank

Lafayette School Poetry on Parade

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Saturday, March 12, 2011

The Mayhem Poets: Mason Granger

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